Have you ever known you needed to make a change in your life, but dragged your heels because the idea of actually making that change felt even more uncomfortable than whatever needed changing?
It's something I often encounter in my work helping people find careers that energize and inspire them. So many people out there who are unhappy with their current careers look at the idea of making a change and think "Yikes!" They decide that however uncomfortable their current situation, at least it's a discomfort they know and are familiar with.
They put the two options on a scale, weighing the discomfort of change vs. the discomfort of staying put. Often the discomfort of change seems much heavier, so they stay where they are.
The trouble with that is people frequently don't weigh the right things. The discomfort of change is a short-term discomfort, so they compare that to the short-term discomfort of staying put. They put a day, or a week, or maybe a month's worth of their current situation on the scale and think, "Well, I don't like it, but at least I'm familiar with it. And compared to the pain of wholesale change, this is really just a low-grade ache." The discomfort of change seems clearly heavier than the discomfort of staying put.
Except that's not the full picture. The pain of staying put in a situation that is wrong for them isn't just the pain of showing up to work again tomorrow and doing something that doesn't fit. It's showing up the day after that, and the month after that, and the year after that...
When they're weighing the discomfort of change vs. the discomfort of no-change, they need to look at the cumulative effect of days and months of years of doing what's not right for them, not just how it feels to show up for work tomorrow. Because that's what they're committing to by deciding not to change.
Next time you find yourself avoiding change because the discomfort of staying put seems easier to tolerate, ask yourself, "Am I weighing the right things?"
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Curt Rosengren, Passion Catalyst TM
Great point. The cumulative effects of not doing what's right for them can be major and have far-reaching consequences. Those effects can include health issues, marital strife, irritability with their kids - effects not to be taken lightly! What good advice to urge people to look at what are the actual costs and benefits to changing or not changing.
Posted by: Heather Mundell | March 19, 2008 at 04:44 PM
Excellent point, Heather. It's not just the impact it can have on you while at work. There can be ripple effects that reach into multiple parts of your life.
Posted by: Curt Rosengren | March 21, 2008 at 01:05 AM
Hey, Curt...
One of my heroes in the career world, Tama Kieves, talks about this idea of the fear of staying in a job too long. What's the long-term cost of doing that, I ask?
I know this one, first-hand. I spent five years in management consulting, which was at least four years too long. Sure, I *could* do the work, but my goodness, the grind of all of those hours, travel, lack of sleep, angry clients, holding in my emotions. Argh!
I was seduced by money and power. But those are external examples of wealth. Fortunately, I started discovering and believing my inner wealth, and that's made a huge difference.
My personal 2 cents for people who are staying in a place of no-change? Go "shake up" something else, outside of work, and find out that you can survive the discomfort of something new. For me, it started with art lessons, and crying (yep, out of the pain of not feeling good enough) during the first few lessons, until a teacher told me it was great for me to let loose with my natural expression. That gave me the courage to try new things.
Staying too long in the comfort zone is often about "tolerating" life. It's not a stretch, and often leads to depression. Life's a stretch!
Thanks for provoking my passion on this topic!
Cheers to you,
Susan
Posted by: Susan Bernstein | March 22, 2008 at 04:19 PM
Susan, examining "at what cost" is another great way to look at it. Thanks for sharing your experience with shaking it up. Great perspectives!
Posted by: Curt Rosengren | March 23, 2008 at 12:58 PM