Who would you be with no praise or criticism?

One of the biggest sources of career misery, stuckness, or just plain lack of fulfillment is giving external factors too much importance in our decision making. Two of the biggies that get in the way are the pursuit of praise and the fear of criticism.

In his excellent book, It's Not About the Coffee: Leadership Principles from a Life at Starbucks, Howard Behar, former President of Starbucks International, touches on the importance of discovering who you are without those two factors in the picture. In a chapter titled, "Know Why You're Here," Behar writes:

In my thirties, I heard someone ask the question, "If there was no praise or criticism in the world, then who would you be?" This is such a powerful concept...I learned that when you discover the answer to that question, you've discovered your greater purpose and the path you need to take.

I love that question! Think about it. If there were literally no praise and no criticism, their role in your decisions would cease to exist. And if they didn't exist, they couldn't distort your decisions.  It would be like speakers that had been blasting muddy, distorted sound suddenly becoming crystal clear.

What music would you hear? What decisions would you make? How would you act? Who would you be? Would your path be different than it is today? How?

Of course, praise and criticism do exist, and to some degree they will always play some role in the choices we make. But the better you understand what's at the core, the easier it is to focus on a path that is energizing and inspiring, and the less likely those external factors are to lure you into making choices that aren't right for you.

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Curt Rosengren, Passion Catalyst ^TM