We are by our very nature pattern-seeking creatures. The patterns we find, whether through experience or education, form the framework for our experience of the world.
Our minds tend to make the leap from, "This is a pattern I see" to, "This is true." And when we make that leap, we start to look for more evidence to support that truth. That in turn can create a filter that no longer lets evidence counter to that truth through. The pattern goes from seemingly true to rigidly true.
Our patterns = Our stories = Our reality
One of the ways those patterns show up in our lives is through our stories about ourselves. We all have them. "I can do anything I set my mind to." "I can't do anything right." "I'm selfish." "I live to give." "I'm misunderstood." "I'm lazy." "I'm hard-working and industrious." And on and on.
Whatever story we have about ourselves sets the stage for how we experience life.
A few years back, I interviewed a guy who had been very successful in pursuing a passion-filled career while thriving financially. I asked him what was behind his success.
He said that it was at least in part due to being lucky enough to have had some early successes in his career. He took some risks and ultimately they paid off. That started creating the story that he has the ability to make things happen, and that risk is OK. That even failure is OK, as long as it doesn't stop you for good.
He contrasted that to his brother's experience. His brother had the same upbringing and had similar talents and gifts. They weren't all that different. But the brother had a series of failures early on that set the pattern for how he perceived the world. His story was defined by that early failure. He engaged the world with more fear, more timidly, and as a result he continues to struggle.
Truth is relative
Neither of those stories were strictly true, of course. They were both based on personal experience and the patterns that were set by how each brother interpreted that experience.
And that's the good news. Truth is relative. Much of it is based on what you believe to be true. And that truth can be sculpted and formed to give you a more positive view of what's possible. If you reinvent your story, you can reinvent your world.
In tomorrow's post, I will offer a simple exercise to help you start sculpting your stories, reinforcing the positive ones, and reinventing the negative.
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Hi Curt, I like your blog and think it is a good fit for http://www.careeradviceblogs.com -- see http://internetinc.com/career-advice-blogs for more information. e-mail me if you would like to be included at eshannon at LatPro.com
-- Eric
Posted by: Internet Inc | July 15, 2008 at 03:19 PM
Thanks for the heads up Eric. You have mail.
Posted by: Curt Rosengren | July 17, 2008 at 07:58 AM