In response to an earlier post here, M.A.P. Maker reader Jeff noted that pursuing his passion seems out of reach. As he explains:
I wish I had a magic wand I could wave that would make it easy. But I sat on it and the dang thing broke, so it looks like we'll have to settle for the hard way.
Here are five questions to ask as you consider a change (note that these are directed at a general audience, not specifically at Jeff).
- Could I find what I want without a full-on change?
- How could I make that change?
- When could I make that change?
- Am I addicted to staying stuck?
- How badly do I really want it?
Could I find what I want without a full-on change?
If there's a way to get what you're looking for without going through the turmoil of a full-scale change, then it makes sense to do it. So to begin with, try this...
Make sure you know why you want to change
First, take a look at why you want to change. Is it because something essential is missing, or is it because your boss is a complete jerk? Is it because you have a burning desire to ________ (fill in the blank), or is it because you've been doing what you do for so long that you're bored with it?
The more you know about the source of your discontent, the better equipped you are to address it. For example, you might discover that you're actually happy with the work, but there are issues at play that drain your energy. In that case, addressing those issues would result in a net energy gain (see my thoughts on The Gain to Drain Ratio), possibly eliminating your desire to make a change altogether.
Take stock of what you're missing
Another spin on that is asking the question, "What am I missing?" What would the new career path give me that my current work doesn't? This needs to be specific, not a vague generalization like, "I'd enjoy my work more."
Let's say, like Jeff, you're interested in starting and running a business of your own. In asking what is currently missing that starting your own business would fulfill, you might - for example - realize that it's about taking an idea from concept to completion. You might see that it's not so much about being in business for yourself as it is having the opportunity to build something out of nothing, to take an idea, build it, own it, and see it succeed.
With that insight, you can start looking around your current path and asking, "Where are the opportunities to incorporate that into the picture?" It might be on a small scale, like lobbying to take on projects that would let you do that. Or it might be large scale, like a move to a path within the company that is more in line with that.
Ask what, then why
Make a list of things - work or play - that have lit you up over the course of your life. For each of those, ask, "Why? What is it about that that makes it so fun, so appealing?" Think of it as reverse engineering to find the underlying characteristics.
For example, when I reverse engineer my Passion Catalyst work, I find that some of the underlying factors in why I love it are a 1) sense of exploration and discovery, 2) helping people, 3) being a catalyst, and 4) being the expert.
When you understand why you love what you love, you can look for opportunities to incorporate more of them into your current path. For example, how can I build more exploration and discovery into what I'm doing? How can I make changes that bring more of that into the picture? What paths could I grow into that have more of that?
(If you'd like more guidance on this, there is an entire chapter devoted to it in my e-book The Occupational Adventure Guide.)
How could I?
Get ten people together in a room who want to make a career change to something they love, and nine of them will come up with what feel like very good reasons why they can't. "I don't have enough money. I have too many financial obligations. I've invested too much time into my current path. I'm too inexperienced. I'm too old."
The truth is, we all have reasons why we can't. Instead of shutting the door with "I can't because," focus on a question that has door-opening potential..."How could I?" As the saying goes, there's more than one way to skin a cat. Some ways to explore how you could include...
- Challenge yourself to think of as many ways as possible to get to your end result. Don't worry if they're not all realistic.
- Identify the obstacles standing in the way. For each obstacle, make it a habit to try to find a way around. Brainstorm ideas. Make it a habit to engage other people in the problem-solving to get their ideas (do it again and again with different people).
- Ask, "What do I need to know to make this happen?" Learn it.
- Ask, "What kinds of people do I need to know to make this happen?" Find ways to meet them.
- Ask, "How do I build reputation I need to make this happen?" Start putting it into action.
- Ask, "What factors need to be in place for me to successfully make a change?" Start putting them into place (e.g., saving for a change fund, learning the nuts and bolts of your new path, etc.).
Any big goal is a compilation of smaller components. Even if the big goal seems presently out of reach, you can still start working on the smaller components.
When could I?
Most of the time I hear someone say, "I can't make a change," what they really mean is, "I can't right now." And that may very well be true. But if you limit yourself only to the things you can accomplish with the flip of a switch...well, you're going to have a pretty sorry life.
If you want to make a change, but meet yourself with, "I can't" (and it might be a very solid reason why you can't), ask yourself, "When could I?"
Again, back to the example of wanting to start a business, you might say, "Well, I would love to do that right now, but I can't." On looking at it closer (this is where the "how could I" exploration above comes in handy), you might realize that you can't right now, but if you started taking consistent, persistent steps right now to prepare, it might be a realistic option in five years' time.
Ideal? No. But neither is just sighing and saying, "I guess I'm stuck here forever."
Am I addicted to staying stuck?
Occasionally, part of my role in my work with individual clients is calling them on their shit (for the record, I have people who regularly call me on mine as well, so it's definitely not a holier-than-thou thing).
And for some people, that shit amounts to an addiction to being stuck. For them, "I can't" becomes an immutable reality. If this is you, no amount of exploration for ways to make it happen will make a difference, because at the heart of it, you're committed to not moving.
Of course, this wouldn't apply to any of the enlightened people who read this blog, but it might apply to a friend of a friend, so I thought I should include it. ;-)
How badly do I really want it?
As much as I hate to say it, there's no guarantee that you'll find an easy way to reach your dream. Sometimes it's a matter of gritting your teeth and doing the hard work to get it done.
Ask yourself, "How much do I really want it?" The more you want it, the more willing you will be to do the hard work. I heard one of my favorite examples of this in an interview I did a few years back with J.A. Jance, a mystery novel writer with numerous best-selling books to her credit.
Jance wrote her first two novels as a single mom with two kids and no child support. This was her advice...
Don’t just talk about it, do it – and don’t make excuses. I wrote my first three books between 4 and 7 a.m. before getting my children up to go to school and getting me dressed to go sell life insurance.
Everybody has obstacles. Some big, some small. The key is to simply recognize those obstacles as part of the landscape, and then set out to find your way around them.
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by Curt Rosengren, Passion Catalyst
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