A realistic look at how to be happy

What does it mean to be happy?

We live in a culture that has somehow sanitized and packaged happiness in single-serving, easy access packets. "Three easy steps to being insanely happy!" We want it served up like fast-food.

But happiness isn't just a high-voltage smile, and when that's all we're trying to achieve we start to one-dimensionalize life.

I ran across this description in a recent PsychologyToday article on happiness that sums up my perspective on happiness really well.

What is happiness? The most useful definition—and it's one agreed upon by neuroscientists, psychiatrists, behavioral economists, positive psychologists, and Buddhist monks—is more like satisfied or content than "happy" in its strict bursting-with-glee sense. It has depth and deliberation to it. It encompasses living a meaningful life, utilizing your gifts and your time, living with thought and purpose.

It's maximized when you also feel part of a community. And when you confront annoyances and crises with grace. It involves a willingness to learn and stretch and grow, which sometimes involves discomfort. It requires acting on life, not merely taking it in. It's not joy, a temporary exhilaration, or even pleasure, that sensual rush—though a steady supply of those feelings course through those who seize each day.

The article goes on to look at a variety of ways of bringing that sense of happiness into your life, all the while avoiding hyberbole and platitudes.

One of the things I appreciate most about the article is that it leaves room for the full range of human experience. It says, "Hey, it's possible to experience negative emotions and still have a happy life." Take this bit about mindfulness, for example:

"If you bring mindfulness to bear on negative feelings, they lose their impact. Just let them be there without struggling against them, and you'll eventually feel less anxiety and depression," Harris says. Don't banish your negative feelings, but don't let them get in the way of your taking productive actions, either.

Lots of good juicy ideas in this article. Well worth a read.

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by Curt Rosengren, Passion Catalyst

Comments

[HolisticSchools]

Happiness is in fact a state of inner peace; thus in order to be happy, one must become content in his own life. Thx 4 sharing -- gr8 piece.

[Miki]

You cite "If you bring mindfulness to bear on negative feelings, they lose their impact."

I know this to be true. It's a funny thing that happens when we put our attention on observing whatever negative thought or feeling we have...it dissipates. That's a critical exercise in refocusing our energy to happier thoughts...and feelings.

[Curt Rosengren]

HS, I think you're right - contentment is a huge part of happiness.

Miki, it's interesting how the negative thoughts or feelings can lose energy when we observe them, and gain energy when we try to stuff them and pretend they're not there.