Are you an optimist, a pessimist, or a realist? Do you like to give your day a dose of positive thinking, or does that smarmy over-happiness make you want to barf?
Over on I Hate My Job, Pamela Grundy spotlights the perspective of Barbara Ehrenreich, author of the book Bright-Sided and one of those rare voices who is vigorously anti-positive-thinking. Ehrenreich's take is that a slavish focus on positive thinking is dangerous, cruel, and leads to poor decisions. In a corporate environment, as she sees it, it leads to sheep-like thinking and a refusal to take a critical look at reality.
If Ehrenreich had her way she would do away with positive thinking entirely and replace it with this:
"The alternative is realism, trying to see the world not colored by either our wishes or our fears, and understand what is really happening so we can do something about it."
Perhaps somewhat surprisingly, I agree with her, but only to a degree. I'm not a big fan of mindless positivity. It gives positive thinking a bad name and can lead to precisely the kind of reality-denying hot water that lends substance to Ehrenreich's argument (though for the record, I think her view is pretty one-dimensional, and that she's throwing the baby out with the bathwater).
I want to love her idea of turning to realism as the ideal path. I really do. But I think it's a slippery slope at best. Far too often I see "realism" serving as a nothing more than a facade for negativity and pessimism.
So a happy medium would be ideal, but I don't believe for a minute that "realism" is it. Maybe a qualifier would help prevent it from sliding down that slippery slope of pessimism. How about "positive realism?" That could give you the best of both worlds.
What does positive realism look like? I'm just making it up here, but here are some ideas that fly off the top of my head. To take a positive realism approach:
Assume the positive until proven otherwise
For starters, always default to a positive perspective. Start out by saying yes, rather than by saying no. I can't tell you how often I hear people automatically say, "That will never work," only to have to eat their words once they explore the possibilities.
There is no danger in starting out with a positive perspective. The danger lies in staying there when it's unmerited. Which brings me to the next point.
Be open to having it proven otherwise
Don't hold the positive perspective with an iron grip. Sometimes it really is wrong. The world isn't all fluffy bunnies and sunshine, and rigidly insisting on seeing a situation only with a positive glow is a recipe for trouble.
Question negative assessments (not blindly)
For many (most?) people, seeing the world too brightly isn't the problem. It's being too pessimistic. If you're one of those, even if you start out assuming the positive it can be easy to let a negative assessment knock it unnecessarily out of the running.
That's why I always encourage people to double- and even triple-check their negative assessments. That pessimism can be a hard habit to break, and it can be a wily beast. Don't just believe that negative assessment. Make sure you really can back it up.
Use a negative perspective to identify trouble spots
Finally, use that negative perspective in a productive way. The ability to see what's wrong makes a great servant and a lousy master. Blasting forward with nothing but a positive perspective makes it likely that you'll hit some unnecessary bumps along the way. At the same time, letting the negative view lead the charge is likely to mean you won't even bother trying.
Team them up, lead with the positive, and let the negative help you identify the things that could get you into trouble. Shine a light on the pitfalls and obstacles that could get in your way. Then go into problem-solving mode.
Together, the two are a powerful pair.
The more I think about it, the more it seems this ol' world could use a positive realism movement. What do you think? Care to join me?
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