This is a series of lessons learned in my nine years as a Passion Catalyst.
One of the hardest things I have grappled with over the last nine years is my own tendency to create a small box for the future and then proceed to try to shove myself into it.
The box is created by my expectations and a desire to control what happens. "This is what I want to see happen, and this is how I'm going to do it, and this is what it's going to look like." Once I have that defined in my head, it shuts out all the other possibilities. As a result, the infinite potential that exists shrinks to fit that box.
It's like the future is this huge, magnificent hall where I could dance with wild delight, and I'm grunting and snorting in the corner trying to wedge myself into my tinybox, frustrated because there's so little room to even move, let alone dance.
I've gotten much better at setting my vision and then staying open to letting the story unfold in unanticipated ways, but it's still something I grapple with.
Check your tinybox thinking
Are you falling prey to tinybox thinking? Are you unnecessarily limiting your future? To explore that, spend a little time with these questions.
- Am I regularly looking for opportunities to say yes to?
- Do I feel like I'm banging my head against the wall, trying to make something happen that just won't?
- Do I default to saying no?
- Am I doing anything differently than I was one year ago? Two years ago? Five years?
- Do I have a picture for how the future should look like that life isn't cooperating with?
- If an opportunity presented itself that is outside the scope of my plan, how likely am I to seriously consider it? How likely am I to dismiss it out of hand? Can I point to any instances where either of those have happened?
Reprogram your tinybox thinking
When you notice the tinybox thinking, you can start to do something about it. For example:
Practice saying yes:
When you catch yourself saying no, practice saying yes (and remind yourself that it doesn't have to be a forever-yes).
Stop and scan:
When something isn't working, back up and scan the horizon. What other opportunities might be presenting themselves?
Practice looking for new possibilities:
Make it a goal to find one new possibility a week. Make that exploration part of your conversations with others. Maybe that new possibility is a way to collaborate with someone, or learning a new skill. Maybe it is committing to taking a step toward building a network in the career direction you really want to take. Or it might be deciding to take on a project you want to do, but feel some fear about.
You don't have to take action on all those possibilities. The point is just to exercise the ability to recognize them.
Act on new possibilities:
Once you start expanding the scope of possibilities you see, you can start choosing ones to act on. As you notice them, jot them down. Then, on a regular basis, review the list you have created and ask, "Which one(s) do I want to do?" The more you act, the more comfortable you will be turning that potential into reality.
Practice staying open and, step-by-step, your future will automatically expand.
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by Curt Rosengren, Passion Catalyst
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