The M.A.P. Maker [Meaning, Abundance & Passion]

Who would you be with no praise or criticism?

One of the biggest sources of career misery, stuckness, or just plain lack of fulfillment is giving external factors too much importance in our decision making. Two of the biggies that get in the way are the pursuit of praise and the fear of criticism.

In his excellent book, It's Not About the Coffee: Leadership Principles from a Life at Starbucks, Howard Behar, former President of Starbucks International, touches on the importance of discovering who you are without those two factors in the picture. In a chapter titled, "Know Why You're Here," Behar writes:

In my thirties, I heard someone ask the question, "If there was no praise or criticism in the world, then who would you be?" This is such a powerful concept...I learned that when you discover the answer to that question, you've discovered your greater purpose and the path you need to take.

I love that question! Think about it. If there were literally no praise and no criticism, their role in your decisions would cease to exist. And if they didn't exist, they couldn't distort your decisions.  It would be like speakers that had been blasting muddy, distorted sound suddenly becoming crystal clear.

What music would you hear? What decisions would you make? How would you act? Who would you be? Would your path be different than it is today? How?

Of course, praise and criticism do exist, and to some degree they will always play some role in the choices we make. But the better you understand what's at the core, the easier it is to focus on a path that is energizing and inspiring, and the less likely those external factors are to lure you into making choices that aren't right for you.

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Curt Rosengren, Passion Catalyst ^TM

Harness the power of authenticity

Much of what I talk about in my work has to do with the power of authenticity. My definition of passion - "the energy that comes from bringing more of YOU into what you do" - is inherently about tapping into the potential that comes with aligning what you do with who you are. As I'm fond of saying, you can never be anybody else half as well as you can be yourself. 

In my interview with Bob Burg (co-author of the Wall Street Journal best-seller The Go-Giver) for next week's M.A.P. Maker Podcast, Burg echoed that sentiment while talking about Law #4 of the Five Laws of Stratospheric Success.

Number four is the law of authenticity. And the law of authenticity says the most valuable gift you have to offer is yourself...This is really in a sense a tie-in to when you talk about making a difference, making a personal difference. When you’re making a personal difference, when you’re doing something you’re passionate about, well obviously you’re more authentic...Authenticity, there’s a genuineness to it, and that genuineness has power.

Another way of looking at it is that an authentic approach to your career, and your life, brings with it a level of intrinsic motivation that energizes you and fuels your efforts.

Take a look at your life. Does it feel authentic? Does what you do day in and day out feel aligned with who you are? Does it come naturally, or is it a constant strain to maintain the facade?

Try this. Take a look at your work and make a list of things about it that really align with who you are, what inspires you, and how you naturally operate. Is there any way to incorporate more of that into the picture?

Now make a list of things about your work that are at odds with who you are. Is there anything you can do to eliminate or minimize those things?

Your career isn't static and unmoving. Everything has the potential for dynamic movement and change - sometimes dramatic change, sometimes continual refinements. The more insight you have about what aligns with who you are and what doesn't, the more potential you have to steer your career in a direction that continues to energize and inspire you.

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Curt Rosengren, Passion Catalyst ^TM  

Fabulous (with flaws) - a slice of authenticity

Over the past year or so, I have given a lot of thought to the question of how the general public – the people who know of me, but don’t actually know me – perceives me.

Much of people’s perception has been shaped by my blog and various print and audio media. Because of the positive nature of much of what I talk about, I started wondering if I was in danger of being seen as one of those Smiley Happy Gurus who don’t actually seem to live in the real world.

When I started this blog, I made a commitment that I would make bring more of the full range of who I am to the picture, not just the pieces that are dripping with sunshine.

Why do I think that is important? Two reasons, one professional, and one personal.

Professional

Professionally, I think it’s a disservice to ladle up bowl after bowl of dreams without acknowledging that it’s not all milk and honey along the way. I often talk about what I call The Magic Carpet Myth, where we put people whose success we admire up on a pedestal, somehow believing that they got there on a magic carpet ride with no potholes or detours on the journey there. That in turn lets us perceive them as different than us.

If I’m going to be a role model, I want to at least be one that people can relate to. I want people to watch my journey and be inspired by what I talk about, but I also want them to come away with a feeling of, “Well, if he can do this, maybe I can too.”

Personal

So much of what I talk about boils down to authenticity. Both meaning and passion as I describe them are very personal things. They come from recognizing who we are and aligning ourselves with that. Being the Smiley Happy Guru doesn’t feel authentic to me, and I’m loath to create a role for myself that traps me into pretending to be who I’m not.

That role would be fine if I happened to be ideal, but I’m not. I am, as I described it when talking to a friend about all of this, “fabulous, with flaws.”

Fabulous

On the one hand, what you see here is accurate and authentic. I am someone who cares deeply about people and about making the world a better place. I get excited at seeing people discover fun, meaningful, lives. I’m creative and curious. I smile and laugh a lot, and can’t resist cracking jokes. Sometimes they’re even funny. I’m passionate and excited about life. I’m compassionate and empathetic.

I have been able to accomplish some very cool things so far with my Passion Catalyst work, and have had the pleasure of watching countless lives change for the better as a result of what I do. I’ve taken my own path and created something new that has a very real positive impact on the world.

Flaws

On the other hand, being human, I’ve got my share of foibles and flaws. I can be overly self-critical, talking to myself in ways I would never dream of talking to someone else (or letting someone else talk to me). I’m a recovering perfectionist (who has more relapses than I would like to). At the same time, while I would like to see my struggle with entropy and disarray as the sign of creative genius, I suspect it’s really just an indication that lasting organization isn’t my forte. I swear more than I need to. I can be opinionated and too intense.

Just like in life, I don’t think I need to dwell on the flaws here. The fabulous side of the equation is much more fun to talk about, and what you focus on grows. At the same time – just like in life – it’s in nobody’s best interest to pretend they don’t exist.

Fabulous with flaws. That’s me. And unless you are somehow extraordinarily different than anyone I’ve ever met, that’s probably you too.

Being a M.A.P. Maker – crafting a life of meaning, abundance, and passion – isn’t about being perfect. It’s not about never feeling fears or doubts. It’s not about never allowing yourself to fall or fail. It’s about being real. It’s about living into who you want to become, allowing the fabulous to take the lead and recognizing that the flaws are simply part of the landscape to be navigated.

Check out The Occupational Adventure Guide

Curt Rosengren, Passion Catalyst ^TM

 

Even positive thinkers get the blues

Last year, I was watching a Larry King special on the power of positive thinking. He had a group of several well-known experts in the personal growth arena on the show. They all had interesting things to share until the very last question, which was, "Do you ever have bad days?"

To a person, they offered up some variation of the answer, "No." I was so incensed I literally jumped up and shouted, "Bullshit!" at the TV.

I get sick to death of seeing the smiley happy gurus who exude nothing but, "I have it all together, and if you'd just think happy thoughts, you could too." A positive message is great, but it's not the whole story. The whole story inevitably includes bumps and bruises, uncertainty and doubt along the way.

To be fair, I don't think the smiley happy gurus are being intentionally misleading (for example, I'm pretty sure they actually meant that even when they have crappy days they're able to put them in perspective, learn from them, etc.). But the reality is that what they don't address - "Hey, my life ain't perfect" - results in a vacuum. And we as mere mortals looking to the experts for advice happily fill that vacuum in with a perception of perfection.

Which is why I loved Kimberly's post over on Uncover Your Bliss about the bumpy side of the life experience:

I was facing a situation that shook me to the core of everything I have become. The details aren’t really important—I can easily explain them away, put a positive spin on them, change them into a blessing, etc. What’s important is how they affected me: I was in a state of complete despair. I mean that literally—I was at a point where I had no hope, I was angrier than I remember ever being, where I felt the last three years of my life were a complete waste, where I felt completely spiritually abandoned, where the only thing that felt real to me was that despair. Everything I gained since I moved to Colorado felt like a joke, and once I started questioning a few things, everything became questionable. My mother called it the Dark Night of the Soul, but I called it a big steaming pile of poo.

My words about letting go and stopping my struggles and finding happiness inside were taunting me. I had even printed them out along with the affirmations below them and hung them on the wall behind my computer before everything broke open. When my crisis began, I would glare at them in defiance and think, “I’m amazed I have friends if this is the kind of crap I’ve been saying to them. I’m a jackass.” I came face to face with exactly how hard it is to hear those things when times are tough.

Can I get a Hallelujah! Real, vulnerable honesty from someone who, by virtue of her primary focus - positive thinking and inspiration - might run the risk of being a smiley happy guru!

Even her bouncing back from the experience reflected the challenges of the human experience (but she DID bounce back, which is a lesson for all of us).

So I’ve been recovering from that. And I wish I could say that I magically got everything back and here I am in happyland again, la la la. It’s not true though. I got beaten down so far and became so tired in all four of my bodies (physical, intellectual, emotional, and spiritual) that I had no choice except move on. Well that’s not true, I had a choice: I could either stay upset and do nothing and feel nothing or I could just put one foot in front of the other and make little choices to make myself feel better. It was time to take my own advice by doing what I could in any given moment to make myself feel better because I couldn’t live feeling bad all the time anymore. Things are the way they are and I can either live with joy and hope or I can be sad and bitter. And since I made the decision that I was done being sad, the joy and hope have started filling the empty spaces. What a wonderful affirmation, no?

Thanks for the refreshing breath of reality, Kimberly!

Check out The Occupational Adventure Guide
Curt Rosengren, Passion Catalyst ^TM