The M.A.P. Maker

A realistic look at how to be happy

What does it mean to be happy?

We live in a culture that has somehow sanitized and packaged happiness in single-serving, easy access packets. "Three easy steps to being insanely happy!" We want it served up like fast-food.

But happiness isn't just a high-voltage smile, and when that's all we're trying to achieve we start to one-dimensionalize life.

I ran across this description in a recent PsychologyToday article on happiness that sums up my perspective on happiness really well.

What is happiness? The most useful definition—and it's one agreed upon by neuroscientists, psychiatrists, behavioral economists, positive psychologists, and Buddhist monks—is more like satisfied or content than "happy" in its strict bursting-with-glee sense. It has depth and deliberation to it. It encompasses living a meaningful life, utilizing your gifts and your time, living with thought and purpose.

It's maximized when you also feel part of a community. And when you confront annoyances and crises with grace. It involves a willingness to learn and stretch and grow, which sometimes involves discomfort. It requires acting on life, not merely taking it in. It's not joy, a temporary exhilaration, or even pleasure, that sensual rush—though a steady supply of those feelings course through those who seize each day.

The article goes on to look at a variety of ways of bringing that sense of happiness into your life, all the while avoiding hyberbole and platitudes.

One of the things I appreciate most about the article is that it leaves room for the full range of human experience. It says, "Hey, it's possible to experience negative emotions and still have a happy life." Take this bit about mindfulness, for example:

"If you bring mindfulness to bear on negative feelings, they lose their impact. Just let them be there without struggling against them, and you'll eventually feel less anxiety and depression," Harris says. Don't banish your negative feelings, but don't let them get in the way of your taking productive actions, either.

Lots of good juicy ideas in this article. Well worth a read.

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by Curt Rosengren, Passion Catalyst

Shape your worldview with a Positive Journal

Want a simple, powerful way to shape your worldview for the better? A way to focus your mind on the positive and improve the way you opt to experience life? Keep a "Positive Journal."

Defaulting to the negative

A few weeks ago, I was feeling down and frustrated with the way things were unfolding in my life, both personally and professionally. I recognize that any journey is going to have the occasional pothole, but I was starting to feel like the path I was on was cobbled with bumps in the road.

I was bitching about it to my friend Misa who asked me one of those simple questions that zing deep to the heart of things. "Curt," she said, "where's the abundance in your life?" She challenged me to sit down and look at the stories I was creating in my head and explore if there might be alternatives.

It got me thinking about how easy it was to let frustrations and negative thoughts color my whole picture. Overall I'm a pretty positive person, but I can also lapse into an inordinately negative view of things on occasion. How many pages in my journals had been prompted by a need to vent about what wasn't working? Maybe it was time for something different. 

Creating a positive space

I decided to start a journal where I would only focus on the positive. There would be no room for bitching, moaning, kvetching or complaining. It would be a combination of focusing on what's right in my life (a lot!) and exploring how the knee-jerk negative can be transformed into positive habits. Think of it as a gratitude journal on steroids!

I knew if I just said, "I'm going to do this," it would have a life span of a week or so, tops. So I decided to make it a 30-day experiment. Every day for thirty days I would write in my Positive Journal. At the end of that time, I would evaluate whether or not I would continue.

I also decided that I would approach it with curiosity. "I wonder what effect, if any, this will have." Rather than trying to force it to be a profound experience that flipped a happy switch, I simply let it have whatever effect would naturally unfold.

Was it a worthwhile experiment? Well, this morning was Day 40, and I'm not traditionally an every day journaler, so that probably something about the value right there.

The journal has had an impact in so many ways. It has focused my attention on the wealth of positive aspects of my life. It forced me to recognize when and how I lapsed into the negative. It got me habitually asking the question, "Where's the positive here?" It has provided a defined space where there is room for nothing but the positive, and that in turn has started seeping into the rest of my life.

Try it yourself

Don't just take my word for it. I challenge you to try this for yourself. Give yourself thirty days to write in your Positive Journal every day (I always do it first thing in the morning, and it often has a tremendous impact on my outlook for the day). See where it takes you.

Explore the abundance in your life (in all areas, not just financial). Explore the positive impact that has. Write about what you're grateful for. Write about the any negative habits that writing in the Positive Journal shines a light on, and what a positive alternative might be.

Most of all, let it unfold naturally and become what you need it to be, not some preconceived notion of what it should be and what impact it should have.

Do it for yourself

For several weeks I only told a couple people in my life that I was even doing it, and even with them, I didn't share any details of what was unfolding. I didn't want to dissipate its energy by shining an external light on it too soon. I felt protective of what was unfolding, and wanted to give it a safe space to become whatever it was going to become.

It's like the analogy of planting a new lawn. You don't invite all your friends over for a backyard barbecue while the tiny green shoots of grass are just poking up. You do it when your lawn has taken root.

If you decide to take me up on the Positive Journal challenge, I would love to hear what effect, if any, it has (after your lawn has taken root, of course).

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by Curt Rosengren, Passion Catalyst

Maybe money CAN buy happiness (if you spend it right)

I just ran across an interesting book called, Money Can Buy Happiness: How to Spend to Get the Life You Want by MP Dunleavey. On the book's web site, there's a sample of what's inside. While it sounds like a book about money, it's really a book about what makes us happy. Here's how the author describes the basic concept:

It may seem strange to equate your personal well-being with an investment portfolio, but it's a pretty useful metaphor. It reminds you, the stockholder, so to say, that you have a fair amount of control over where you invest and why...Savvy money managers may know to put a certain amount of capital into something solid like bonds, blue chip stocks or large-cap mutual funds, but the precise investments they choose are up to each individual. Likewise, how you decide to balance your assets in order to enhance your own happiness is ultimately up to you.

She goes on to describe the different happiness assets she recommends investing in. In a nutshell, those are...

ASSET #1: YOUR VALUABLE TIME

"...tradeoffs you can make to reclaim your time-and invest in a happier life."

ASSET #2: YOUR PERSONAL RESOURCES

"Investing in your self..."

ASSET #3: YOUR HEALTH

"...small but steady investments in your physical plant are key to the overall performance of your portfolio."

ASSET #4: FINANCIAL CONTROL

"...master bad money habits, vanquish debt, buy yourself greater peace of mind—and take control of your future."

ASSET #5: MUTUAL FUN

"...the all-important fun sector, and the countless ways it can boost your portfolio's overall performance."

ASSET #6: GET INTO BONDS

"...investing more in the people who are most important to you is essential to having a life that's fulfilling."

ASSET #7: GIVING TO FEEL GOOD

"...researchers are finding that the act of giving bestows numerous gifts on the giver as well: it supports and strengthens social bonds, enriches your life, enhances your health and even boosts longevity."

Dunleavey follows that list up with this comment: "There's absolutely nothing surprising on this list, nothing new-except the radical idea that these aren't philosophical choices, but financial ones."

And that's what I love about this idea. It starts to put money into perspective. It neither demonizes it nor idolizes it. It simply looks at money as a tool. And when we see it as nothing more than a tool, we're still left with the question, "What's important to me?" And the more we understand that, the more closely aligned our financial decisions can be with what makes us truly happy.

I literally just ran across the book online, so I haven't read it yet. And I'm not going to let myself order it until my to-read stack is considerably shorter than its current two feet tall. But it's definitely going on my to-read list.

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Curt Rosengren, Passion Catalyst ^TM

Study: It's the little things that make us happy

My clients come to see me when they decide it's time to find the path to a career that energizes and inspires them. While "where to from here" is the overall focus, the discussions often delve into the question, "How can I make my life today as fun and energizing as possible?"

I'm a big fan of small, simple, and doable. One of the approaches to refining life in the moment is making a list of activities that are fun and energizing, then committing to picking one each day and doing it. No muss. No fuss. Simple as pie.

Here's a study that suggests that the small things in life can make a big difference in our happiness.

The study compared the ‘happiness levels’ of lottery jackpot winners with a control group, using a ‘Satisfaction with Life Scale’ developed by the University of Illinois. Respondents were asked how satisfied they were in relation to different elements of their life, their different mood states explored, how often they treated themselves and what form this took.

Surprisingly, it wasn’t the flashy cars and diamond jewellery that upped the jackpot winners’ happiness quotient. It was the listening to music, reading a book, or enjoying a bottle of wine with a takeaway that really made the difference.

Dr Tunney said: “Modern-day pressures take their toll on everyday happiness. As a result we try to make ourselves feel better and happier through personal rewards and treats. We’ve all heard the saying ‘a little bit of what you fancy does you good’, and treating yourself is the ideal way to keep spirits lifted when you’re down in the dumps.

The saying that "the best things in life are free" seems to apply here as well...

The survey contrasted cost-free activities, such as walking and snoozing, with expensive ones like overseas holidays. It asked how frequently they might purchase ‘staying in treats’ — like a bottle of wine — and how often they bought themselves items like shoes, mobile phones and DVDs.

The research found that happy people — whether lottery jackpot winners or not — liked long baths, going swimming, playing games and enjoying their hobby. Those who described themselves as less happy didn’t choose the cost-free indulgences. They rewarded themselves with CDs, cheap DVDs and inexpensive meals out instead.

How about you? What small things give you joy?

Check out The Occupational Adventure Guide

Curt Rosengren, Passion Catalyst ^TM