The M.A.P. Maker [Meaning, Abundance & Passion]

In a rut? Be a serial beginner!

If you have ever found yourself mired in a rut, then you know that you can't feel energized and rutbound at the same time. So what do you do about it?

Find out in my post today over on the U.S. News & World Report blog, Break Out of Your Rut by Becoming a Serial Beginner.

(You can see my previous posts on that blog here.)

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Time for a career change? Launch it with...
The Occupational Adventure Guide:
A Travel Guide to the Career of Your Dreams

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by Curt Rosengren, Passion Catalyst

Going through hell in the hallway

There's a saying that when one door closes, another door opens. I happen to believe that. I also believe that, like many sayings, it's probably a bit simplistic.

I heard what feels like a more accurate version as I was flipping through radio stations in the car yesterday. I came across what sounded like a charismatic black preacher giving a sermon. The speaker in me was caught by his delivery style, so I stayed and listened a while, admiring his oratorical skill.

"When one door closes, God opens another door," he preached. "When one door closes," he repeated, "God opens another door...But," he said with a hint of humor, "it's hell in the hallway!" 

As I cracked up at the image, I thought, "How very true." I do believe that another door is going to open when one gets shut. But I have also seen enough people go through change - and been through enough change myself - to know that actually making through that door isn't always a cakewalk.

Maybe that hell comes from that limbo space where someone doesn't know what's next. Maybe it comes when they start moving towards the open door, experience a little hellfire, and think, "Ouch! Hey, wait a minute. I don't like this! Never mind. That door must not be open after all." And they give up. Or it makes them think that they don't have what it takes (the fact that they're struggling must prove it, right?).

But the reality is that with any change - especially substantial changes - struggle, fear, and doubt can come with the territory (not always, but often). Feeling the flames tickling your butt doesn't necessarily mean you should stop.

It's just a reminder to ask yourself, "Is that really the opportunity I think it is? (A little healthy questioning is never a bad thing.) Is there any way to move through this hallway faster? Is there anything that can help shield me from these flames while I make the transition?"

Next time you decide to step through a new door and you feel a little heat, remind yourself that it's just the hallway, not the whole house.

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by Curt Rosengren, Passion Catalyst

Feel your failure...and then move on

When I interviewed Howard Behar (former Starbucks president and author of It's Not About the Coffee) for an installment of the M.A.P. Maker Podcast, one of the things he talked about was the importance of being able to experience failure with a positive attitude. Accept it, learn what you can, and keep moving.

That's not to say that you have to embrace failure like a gleeful puppy. In fact, his first suggestion on how to successfully navigate failure is to give yourself time to feel the sting - but not too much time. Here's what he had to say:

I think number one, you have to allow yourself to mourn. And you can be mad at yourself. I mean sometimes I get just – my self-talk, you know, I can be really mad at myself.

I don’t give myself very long at doing that. What I try to do is I try to set a time limit. I say, Howard, after Friday, you’re done with that talk. Right? I do that. It sounds strange, but I’m talking to myself, and I say OK, you’ve got a couple of days to moan and groan, and then you’ve got to start thinking about what you’re going to do, and talk only about what you learned, not what you did wrong.

It’s a little trick you play with yourself. Acknowledge it. Give yourself time to mourn, and to do all those things you need to do. Yeah, it did happen. I’m terrible. I stink. I will never do anything right. And then starting on Friday, OK, what did I learn from that? And how will I take what I learned into the next experiment that you’re going to try?

As I wrote in my recent post on 9 ways to break free of the Craposphere, sometimes you just have to spend some time and wallow in feeling bad, using up that energy so you can transition into feeling better.

It reminds me of something a good friend of mine used to do with her young daughter. She called it the fussbox. If her daughter was vocally unhappy about something, my friend would sit down and give her five minutes in the fussbox (figuratively speaking) to just vent. But the rule was that she had to vent the entire five minutes. Inevitably the energy behind it would sag before the five minutes was up, and then she was ready to move on to other things.

How about you? How do move past failure? What helps you stay positive after you screw up? How do you keep the momentum going?

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10 giant career change mistakes to avoid

Do you have a career change somewhere in your future? Changing careers can be enough of a challenge without adding to the difficulty yourself. Here are ten big mistakes that make the process harder than it needs to be.

1. Assuming you need to change careers
2. Not starting with you
3. Focusing too much on what's practical
4. Focusing too much on passion
5. Looking for a quick fix
6. Ignoring immediate opportunities for improvement
7. Giving obstacles too much importance
8. Ignoring the obstacles
9. Shutting the door to serendipity
10. Hanging too loose
     

I. Assuming you need to change careers

Before you jump into the career change pool with both feet, stop and ask yourself, "Why do I want to change? What am I unhappy with here? Is it my boss? Is it the work environment? Is it the work itself?"

Once you take inventory of the sources of your dissatisfaction, spend some time with each and ask, "How could I change that? What are some possibilities to make things better without the dramatic step of wholesale change?"

You may discover that, with some tweaks and twiddles, you're closer than you realized.

II. Not starting with you

Trying to create a career that energizes you without understanding where that energy comes from is a little like trying to hit a bulls-eye with a dart while blindfolded. Theoretically possible, but not likely.

The more you understand about what makes you tick, the better equipped you are to both identify and evaluate potential opportunities (a key component of my Passion Catalyst work).

When you understand the underlying reasons why you love what you love, you can look around and say, "OK, what are the potential paths out there that match up with that?" You can also look at a specific opportunity and ask, "How well does this stack up against what I know energizes me?"

III. Focusing too much on what's practical

Nothing kills the potential for passion like an exclusive focus on the practical and pragmatic. A practical approach is one of those things that makes a great servant, but a lousy master.

As a supporting element, the practical approach keeps you grounded in the real world. "OK, that's a great dream - now here are the real world concerns to address as you move towards it."

But as the driving force in your efforts, practicality often drives you the opposite direction from what feels uniquely energizing and meaningful to you. Practicality itself has no soul, no depth. Its only concern is to ensure that whatever path you take has as few bumps as possible. And if that path should leave you feeling unfulfilled, that's of no real concern.

IV. Focusing too much on passion

On the flip side, focusing too much on the passion and the dream is a pretty good way to get frustrated and stuck as well. If you focus just on the dream and not on the everyday practicalities of actually making it happen, odds are good you'll find yourself spinning in circles, having a great time (for a while anyway), but never actually getting anywhere. .

As alluring as the passion path is, the reality is that everything happens in the real world. And in the real world, there are mundane, practical things to consider. "How am I going to get there? What is getting in my way? How could this impact ____? Am I willing to sacrifice ____ to get ____?"

Passion is a great guidance system, but a practical approach is an integral part of the logistics that will help you make it happen.

V. Looking for a quick fix

I know this isn't a sexy message, but when it comes to career change, there is no give-it-to-me-now McSolution. Meaningful career change typically doesn't happen with the flip of a switch.

Giving in to the urge to find a push-button option is likely to lead you out of the frying pan and into the fire. Doing the introspection (and the reflection on what you learn from taking steps) takes time. Identifying the right path for you takes time. And the actual transition takes time.

One big result of taking the quick fix perspective is the wall it puts up between you and many of the potential directions you could take. You look at an idea and think, "I can't," when often what you really mean is, "I can't right now" (which might be completely accurate). Unfortunately, our immediate gratification mindset often turns "I can't right now" into "I can't ever."

VI. Ignoring immediate opportunities for improvement

If you need to stay in your current position for the immediate future while you take steps on the side towards change, you might as well make your current situation as palatable as possible by exploring immediate opportunities for improvement.

Start by doing a two-columned inventory. In one column, list the things that drive you nuts about your current situation. In the second column, list the things that you enjoy.

Next, ask two simple questions. For the negative factors, ask yourself, "Is there any way I can minimize or eliminate this part of my experience?" For the positive factors, ask, "How can I bring more of this into the picture?"

It's not a panacea, but the more you can improve the current situation, the easier it will be to stay put while you're taking action towards your new path.

VII. Giving obstacles too much importance

Too often I see people look at a potential path, see the obstacles and say, "Well, I guess I can't do that."

Here's a little reality check. The path to just about anything worth doing is going to have its share of obstacles. Unless you're very lucky, limiting yourself to a path with no obstacles is likely to lead to an uninspired life.

Obstacles are simply part of the landscape, not proof that something can't be done. When you encounter them, instead of saying, "Guess I have to turn around now," ask yourself, "OK, what are my options? How do I get around (or over, or under) this thing that's standing in my way?"

VIII. Ignoring the obstacles

Picture yourself running passionately down a path towards a destination filled with energy and bliss. You're immersed in the joy of the journey, and you're giddy about where you're going. Then all of a sudden...

Whack!

You've done a full-speed face plant right into a big boulder. You should have been paying more attention.

Just like giving the obstacles in the path too much importance is a mistake, so is ignoring them completely. When you pay attention to what's in the way, you have the opportunity to scheme your way around it. When you don't...well...did I mention, "Whack!"?

IX. Shutting the door to serendipity

When it comes to career change, the idea of "you don't know what you don't know" is as valid as anywhere.

Taking steps towards an objective means taking action, and action creates both insight and opportunity. You may learn something along the way that causes you to alter your course, or a door may open up to an opportunity that you never realized existed.

Having a plan for how to get where you want to go is great. But it should be a living, morphing plan, not a set of goals and steps that are etched in stone. Don't be so rigidly committed to it that you miss the opportunity to embrace an even better/more easily accessible/etc. opportunity.

X. Hanging too loose

While some looseness helps you stay open and creative in your efforts, too much looseness just leaves you wobbling around headed no place in particular.

Structure helps focus your efforts, and gives you something specific to get traction on. Goals help you see where you're going, and how the steps you're taking are moving you in that direction (or not). Having specific steps and stages to go through keeps you from scratching your head and saying the career equivalent of, "I dunno...what do you want to do?"

Parting thought: Do a change audit

You'll notice that many of these mistakes are the inverse of another mistake on the list. Which ones loom largest depends on the individual.

If you're looking at a career change (or any kind of change, really), spend some time going through this list of mistakes and ask yourself, "Which ones am I making? Which ones am I likely to make? What can I do about it?"

The more awareness you have, the less likely you will be to turn one or more of these mistakes into an insurmountable obstacle.

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Time for a career change? Launch it with...
The Occupational Adventure Guide:
A Travel Guide to the Career of Your Dreams

Reinvent your story. Reinvent your world.

We are by our very nature pattern-seeking creatures. The patterns we find, whether through experience or education, form the framework for our experience of the world.

Our minds tend to make the leap from, "This is a pattern I see" to, "This is true." And when we make that leap, we start to look for more evidence to support that truth. That in turn can create a filter that no longer lets evidence counter to that truth through. The pattern goes from seemingly true to rigidly true.

Our patterns = Our stories = Our reality

One of the ways those patterns show up in our lives is through our stories about ourselves. We all have them. "I can do anything I set my mind to." "I can't do anything right." "I'm selfish." "I live to give." "I'm misunderstood." "I'm lazy." "I'm hard-working and industrious." And on and on.

Whatever story we have about ourselves sets the stage for how we experience life.

A few years back, I interviewed a guy who had been very successful in pursuing a passion-filled career while thriving financially. I asked him what was behind his success.

He said that it was at least in part due to being lucky enough to have had some early successes in his career. He took some risks and ultimately they paid off. That started creating the story that he has the ability to make things happen, and that risk is OK. That even failure is OK, as long as it doesn't stop you for good.

He contrasted that to his brother's experience. His brother had the same upbringing and had similar talents and gifts. They weren't all that different. But the brother had a series of failures early on that set the pattern for how he perceived the world. His story was defined by that early failure. He engaged the world with more fear, more timidly, and as a result he continues to struggle.

Truth is relative

Neither of those stories were strictly true, of course. They were both based on personal experience and the patterns that were set by how each brother interpreted that experience.

And that's the good news. Truth is relative. Much of it is based on what you believe to be true. And that truth can be sculpted and formed to give you a more positive view of what's possible. If you reinvent your story, you can reinvent your world.

In tomorrow's post, I will offer a simple exercise to help you start sculpting your stories, reinforcing the positive ones, and reinventing the negative.
 
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Time for a career change? Launch it with...
The Occupational Adventure Guide:
A Travel Guide to the Career of Your Dreams

9 ways to help people help you

Pursuing your dreams and building your vision is an inherently personal thing. There is no cookie cutter process to follow, and on occasion that can leave you feeling a little overwhelmed and alone.

The good news, whether you realize it or not, is that you're not alone.

People want to help

I went to BizJam08 last week, a conference aimed at solopreneurs. One of the speakers, Ami Kassar from ideablob, tried an experiment where he had people with an idea for a business or a product come up on stage and give a one-minute spiel about the idea. The audience was then asked for advice.

For me, it was the best part of the entire conference. Not so much because of the specific advice being given, but because of the energy that was flying around the room as people just about jumped out of their seats wanting to help.

It was inspiring, primarily because it reinforced one of my basic beliefs in life. "People want to help." The people in the audience weren't just offering their advice and ideas because they were supposed to. They were doing it because they wanted to. They were excited about it.

How to help people help you

Like many things, when you reach out for help you can do it well or you can really suck at it. It can be effective and enjoyable for the people you ask, or it can be flat out annoying.

Here are some ideas for how to help people help you.

Tell people what you need: OK, this one seems like it should be pretty obvious, but I'm starting here because this is where far too many people miss the boat. Whether it's for fear of imposing or being told no, or a feeling that they should be able to "do it themselves," the biggest mistake people make when it comes to helping people help them is not asking.

Make it specific: The more specific you can be with your request for help, the more likely it is that people will understand how they can help you. Don't throw out a general need and hope they can fill in the blanks.

Make it easy: Sure, they want to help, but they're still busy people evaluating how they're going to use their time. if your request for help is big and bloated, or needs a manual to figure it out, the odds of it actually hitting paydirt are slim.

Try to make your requests easily implementable. For example, ask for a specific amount of time to ask them questions about a specific topic. Or ask if they have any suggestions for someone you should talk to about _____ subject. Or e-mail them with questions they can easily answer briefly.

Make it relevant: If you're going to ask for someone's help, be sure it's really relevant to their experience. Asking for help is not the time to take a shotgun approach.

Do the footwork first: If you're asking for help, advice, etc. on something you could easily figure out yourself, you're probably just lazy. Don't waste your requests on things that are easily accessible to you; save them for the things you really need.

Make a list: Start a list outlining the different ways you need help. For example:

• Questions you have.
• Introductions you need.
• Specific knowledge and insights that others might have.
• Problems you're grappling with that someone more experienced might have the answer to.
• Help with individual aspects of projects you are working on.

When you have a clear picture of the specific help you need, you're more likely to recognize the chance to reach out and ask for it when the opportunity arises.

Be appreciative: Nothing kills your future potential for receiving help faster than coming across as an ingrate. Don't.

Return the favor when possible: Look for ways you can help the person you're requesting help from. You might see a substantial way to assist them, or it might be seemingly small and insignificant, like a recommendation to a great restaurant. It's possible that you won't see an obvious way, but at least it's on your radar screen.

Keep the good karma going: Keep the good help karma going by paying it forward. Make a point of being receptive to reasonable requests for help from others.

How about you? How do you help people help you?

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Turn down the volume and contemplate the clouds

There's a scene in the mockumentary film Spinal Tap where one of the band members is describing the special amps they use with volume that goes to eleven, rather than the usual ten.

Marty DiBergi: Does that mean it's louder? Is it any louder?

Nigel Tufnel: Well, it's one louder, isn't it? It's not ten. You see, most blokes, you know, will be playing at ten. You're on ten here, all the way up, all the way up, all the way up, you're on ten on your guitar. Where can you go from there? Where?

Marty DiBergi: I don't know.

Nigel Tufnel: Nowhere. Exactly. What we do is, if we need that extra push over the cliff, you know what we do?

Marty DiBergi: Put it up to eleven.

Nigel Tufnel: Eleven. Exactly. One louder.

For so many of us, that's how we try to live our lives. Multi-tasking. Using technology to squeeze ever more into the nooks and crannies of our lives. Doing everything we can to turn up the volume to eleven.

And ultimately, that becomes mind-numbing. We don't have the time or ability to notice the subtle pleasures of life, our ability to perform at our best suffers, and the stress mounts ever higher.

In response to that, there is a slow movement afoot. Slow living. Slow food. Even slow towns. But how do you start injecting a dose of slow into your life if you're blazing along at top speed? For The Cloud Spotter's Guide author Gavin Pretor-Pinney, the answer is simple. Look up.

His book was a best seller in the UK last year and there is now a web site called The Cloud Appreciation Society. While the book is filled with fascinating facts and anecdotes about clouds, it's just as much an exercise in contemplation and rejection of the accepted goals of modern life, something that fits well into the slow life canon.

"The speed at which clouds develop and change is so gradual; it's quite the opposite of the pace of life in the city. By spending a little time contemplating clouds, you're really forced to slow down. It's a kind of meteorological meditation," he says.

"Most people walk around looking at the floor, but the whole act of looking upwards is almost like a yogic exercise; you broaden your perspective and open your vision."

If you want to do your best work, you need to give your mind time to "lie fallow." I love the idea of using cloud contemplation as a tool to help that happen. It's easy, it's simple, takes no special training and no special doo-dads to make it happen.

How about you? What helps you slow down?

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Curt Rosengren, Passion Catalyst ^TM

9 ways to break free of the Craposphere

Do you ever have days (or weeks) where you wonder what the hell just happened? Where life seems to go sideways despite your best laid plans, leaving you with a bit of a just-hit-by-a-truck feeling?

 

I’ve been having that lately, and truthfully, it makes it difficult to want to write shiny happy posts. So in the interest of authenticity, today I’m jumping in and embracing the fact that I’ve been feeling crappy. I don’t mean embracing it like, “Whee-ha! Ain’t it great to feel crappy?!” I mean embracing the fact that getting stuck in the craposphere is a part of the journey that everybody encounters from time to time.

 

The big question isn’t, “Why is this happening to me?” Crapitude in some form happens to everybody along the way. It’s a part of life. The question then is, “What do I do about it?”

 

Here are some thoughts of what works for me. I’d love to hear what works for you as well.

 

Wallow in it

 

OK, I know this doesn’t seem like your standard happy schmappy self-help advice, but sometimes I’m just in too deep to want to start moving into a positive space. Sometimes the first step in getting out of the craposphere is just letting myself wallow in the muck for a bit.

 

When I do that, eventually my wallowing starts to run out of steam, and I get tired of it. Then I’m ready to move into a more positive and proactive state.

 

Express gratitude

 

When you’re stuck in a crapospheric orbit, everything looks bleak. It’s easy to paint the entire world with a broad negative brush.

 

Instead, spend some time focused on gratitude. What is good in your life – big or small? What are you grateful for? Recently, my friend Nancy Solomon encouraged me to make a gratitude list to help start shifting my focus. At the time I was still heavily into the wallow stage, and I didn’t really want to get positive. So I ignored her very good advice.

 

But she had planted a seed. As I started to tire of wallowing, I began thinking, “Well, what am I grateful for? What is good in my life?” My brain started picking it up at random intervals, taking inventory of all the really very positive things in my life. Bit by bit, color started coming back into my monochrome picture.

 

Reach out

 

When you’re stuck in the craposphere, it’s no time to grit your teeth and say, “I can do it myself.” Now is the time to reach out. You need to talk to mission control back down on earth. Tell your friends and/or family what’s going on, and what you’re feeling. Looking for a solution? Let them know. Not ready to shift into problem-solving mode yet and just want to blow off steam? Ask them to just listen and not try to solve it.

 

Take action

 

The craposphere feeds on inaction and a sense of helplessness. The more helpless you feel, the stronger its hold on you. To break free of the craposphere, do something. Take action. Take steps that lead away from where you are towards where you want to be.

Learn

Depending on the source of your launch into the craposphere, there may be something to learn from it. Rather than just bemoaning what happened, it can sometimes be helpful to spend some time exploring what you can learn from it, and how that better equips you to do things differently in the future.

Have healthy habits

 

It may be tempting to spend your time sitting on the couch, stuffing your face with ice cream and chips and watching mindless television, but that’s a recipe for locking yourself into the craposphere. Instead, look for ways to get active and eat healthily.

 

Try incorporating things you actually like and enjoy. If I had had to rely on going to the gym and riding a stationary bike, odds are good I would have gotten no exercise of late. But I love inline skating and dancing. They’re energizing and fun, even if I’m in a crappy mood.

 

On the food front, I recently discovered green smoothies. Yesterday I made one with an apple, a couple cups of grapes, a bunch of kale, some cucumber, and a few string beans (sounds vile, I know, but it’s actually really good). Throw it all in the blender and, voila! A healthy, tasty snack.

 

The way I make it, it ends up with the consistency and taste of apple sauce (most people make them more drink-like). I put it in the refrigerator and snack on it throughout the day. Because it’s sweet and tastes good, I haven’t had to force myself to get the fruits and veggies I need – I’ve just done it.

 

Focus on nature

 

The natural world can have a soothing, restorative effect. If you can, spend some time out in nature. Go for a walk in the country. If that’s not an option, find a park. You can even get a nature fix just by focusing on the plants and animals around you in the city.

 

The other day as I was sitting on my couch, I decided to focus on the two trees outside my window, enjoying a little sliver of nature. The windows were open, so I could feel a breeze, and I could hear a variety of birds. As I did directed my attention there, I could feel a growing sense of tranquility.

 

Look for sources of inspiration

 

Look for books and movies that inspire you. Fill your mind with positive stimuli. For me, books and movies about people who have overcome great odds or who are taking action to make the world a better place (or both) are always a good bet.

 

Let yourself feel

 

Finally, don’t stuff your feelings and pretend they’re not there. Let yourself feel. Expressing your emotions can be cathartic, and a vital step to leaving the craposphere behind and stepping back into life.

 

How about you? How do you break free of the craposphere?   

--

Curt Rosengren, Passion Catalyst ^TM

62 questions to ask

If there's one piece of punctuation that has the potential to change the world, it's the question mark.

I'm a huge fan of the power of questions to solve problems, shine a light on opportunities, shift your perspective, spark understanding, and more.

Here's a fabulous list of questions from Scott Ginsberg to help you tap into the possibilities life has to offer. A lot of questions are workplace-related, but you can change them to personal questions if you replace "you" with "I" (i.e., "how can I...").

Check this list out. Bookmark it. And most importantly, use it.

There's magic in them thar questions!

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Curt Rosengren, Passion Catalyst ^TM

Falling forward, Part II: Keep your feet moving

Yesterday, riffing of an experience of almost falling while inline skating, I wrote about falling forward, and how it can actually help you stay upright and moving forward when you stumble in life.

Looking back, I realize that I only addressed part of the picture. Following the momentum of the fall is one element, but the other part is letting your feet scramble to stay under your weight.

If you don't keep your feet moving when you trip while skating, you'll ultimately go splat. It's the same in life. 

I can't even count how many times I have done something, completely botched it (as I saw it, at least), and then felt too gun shy to try again. My feet stopped moving. I could do all the learning in the world from the experience, but without that continued movement, it was all moot.   

On the other hand, I have no shortage of examples where I said, "Huh, well what if I do it this way? What if I try this? What if I take this approach?" And ultimately something good happened.

Next time you find yourself falling, ask yourself, "How do I need to move my feet? What do I need to do to make sure I keep moving forward and don't get bogged down? How can I make sure I don't go splat?"

 

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Curt Rosengren, Passion Catalyst ^TM