Self-exploration

July 23, 2008

Making a difference with your kids

If you are a parent, you have a powerful opportunity to make the world a better place through the values and beliefs you instill in your children. It's a world-changing role.

Every child has the potential to absorb the message that doing good is an important part of life. And for every child brought up not just to believe that, but also to act on it, the future gets brighter.

It starts with a conversation

One of the many things I have long admired about Kevin Salwen (you may remember him as co-founder and editor of the sadly departed Motto / Worthwhile magazine) is the way he and his wife Joan have focused on that very thing with their kids.

I remember one post on the Motto blog where he talked about a conversation his family had around the dining room table. "What if we suddenly had a million dollars to give away to a good cause? How would we spend it? Where would we spend it? What issues are important to us?"

I always thought it was a great way to engage the kids to really think about what's important to them.

Taking action (in a big way)

It was only a theoretical conversation to get them thinking, but something about it must have sunk in...and sunk in deeply.

Fast forward a couple years from that post, and you'll find the Salwens selling their beautiful old mansion (it's still on the market for $1.8 million) to move into a house half its size and half its price, and donating the difference to The Hunger Project. The idea was sparked by his teenage daughter, Hannah. They have a site detailing the idea called Hannah's Lunchbox.

You can see more about their project on these clips from The Today Show and CNN.

Something for everyone

What I love about the Salwens' story isn't the scale of it, though that grabs your attention, to be sure. It's the part that is available to each and every parent, whatever their situation. Playing out on a jaw-dropping scale isn't what's important. What's important is blending exploration, respect for the kids' ideas and opinions, and family action.

In a nutshell, here's what I took away from the Salwens' story (I should note that I have no kids myself, so this is purely from what I have observed and not from any personal expertise - for those of you parents out there, I would love to hear your take on it).

1. Engage in conversations: Having conversations about exploring what feels important and what feels meaningful is where any seed gets planted.

2. Give the kids a voice: The conversations about what's important aren't just about dictating values. They're an opportunity to really open it up for discussion and exploration. What do they think, and why?

3. Explore the possibilities: As you get a better sense for what feels important, you can use that to start exploring possible ways to make a difference.

4. Do it together: The last part of what I find so powerful about the Salwens' story is that it was a family project. Whatever difference you decide to focus on making, there is an opportunity to ratchet up the personal benefit as well by doing it together. Along those lines, here is an interesting study on the benefits of family volunteering (pdf file).

For those of you with kids, how do you engage them around the idea of making a difference in the world? I would love to hear your stories.

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by Curt Rosengren, Passion Catalyst

July 03, 2008

Can regret help you create a career you love?

Too often in our lives, we encounter regret only in hindsight. But what if we used it with foresight to help us create the future we really want? Over on the U.S. News blog today, I wrote a post exploring how you can use the question, "What would I regret?" to help you create a career that lights you up. Check it out.

And if you want to read my other posts over there, go here.

Enjoy!

   

--


Curt Rosengren, Passion Catalyst
TM

June 30, 2008

Word-paint your self-portrait for an energized life

My Passion Catalyst work is about helping people manage the Gain to Drain Ratio in their lives - bringing more of what gives them energy into the picture and jettisoning what drains them. It's all based on my definition of passion: The energy that comes from bringing more of YOU into what you do.

With that in mind, I loved what Howard Behar (former President of Starbucks International and Starbucks North America, and author of the book, "It's Not About the Coffee") had to say when I interviewed him for the most recent M.A.P. Maker Podcast. Behar's description of bringing more of you into what you do is "one-hat living." 

One-hat living is being totally in synch with who you are as a human being...what are your values? What matters to you? How do you want to live your life?

And you’ve got to write those things down, because if you don’t, then it’s just talk. And they’re not written in stone just because you write them down, but it’s kind of like painting a picture of yourself in words.

When you put all these words together and they paint a picture of yourself, then you should be looking for things to do, places to work, wherever you’re going to live your life, your significant other in your life, that fit with that.

Because that’s how you’re going to have a happy, productive life. If you’re constantly in conflict with your values and how you live your life, where they don’t match with each other, it’s a recipe for disaster in life. You will see problems, and you will have problems, and you will be unhappy.

I love the idea of painting a word-picture of yourself. If you don't have the clarity about who you really are - not just a vague sense of "I know it when I see it," but a really solid understanding of what makes you tick - it's next to impossible to consciously bring more of that into the picture.

You can start painting your own word-picture right now by asking yourself some questions...

  • What do I already know I want in my career?
  • What do I love doing? Why? (Don't limit yourself to career-related activities - you're interested in the underlying reasons why you love it, not the activity itself.)
  • What do I care about?
  • When am I at my best?

The more you know about yourself, the more you fuel you have for creating an energizing, inspiring future.

--

Time for a career change? Launch it with...
The Occupational Adventure Guide:
A Travel Guide to the Career of Your Dreams

March 20, 2008

Who would you be with no praise or criticism?

One of the biggest sources of career misery, stuckness, or just plain lack of fulfillment is giving external factors too much importance in our decision making. Two of the biggies that get in the way are the pursuit of praise and the fear of criticism.

In his excellent book, It's Not About the Coffee: Leadership Principles from a Life at Starbucks, Howard Behar, former President of Starbucks International, touches on the importance of discovering who you are without those two factors in the picture. In a chapter titled, "Know Why You're Here," Behar writes:

In my thirties, I heard someone ask the question, "If there was no praise or criticism in the world, then who would you be?" This is such a powerful concept...I learned that when you discover the answer to that question, you've discovered your greater purpose and the path you need to take.

I love that question! Think about it. If there were literally no praise and no criticism, their role in your decisions would cease to exist. And if they didn't exist, they couldn't distort your decisions.  It would be like speakers that had been blasting muddy, distorted sound suddenly becoming crystal clear.

What music would you hear? What decisions would you make? How would you act? Who would you be? Would your path be different than it is today? How?

Of course, praise and criticism do exist, and to some degree they will always play some role in the choices we make. But the better you understand what's at the core, the easier it is to focus on a path that is energizing and inspiring, and the less likely those external factors are to lure you into making choices that aren't right for you.

--


Curt Rosengren, Passion Catalyst
TM

March 03, 2008

How to use flickr for self-exploration, part 2

A few weeks ago I wrote about using flickr as a self-exploration tool (using images as a point of departure for the exploration process).

I suggested two approaches. One involved doing a search on specific words that relate to something you want to explore. The other involved putting a completely random spin by  opening a book, poking your finger onto the page, and searching for the word it comes down on. 

I just came across another great option for the random approach, the random word generator. Just visit the site and then search in flickr for the word that comes up (or, if you absolutely hate it, just hit refresh). 

They say that knowledge is power, and nowhere it that more true than knowledge of ourselves and the paths we're taking. Who knows what kind of insight might come out of this if you give it a shot?

Happy self-discovery! 

--

 


Curt Rosengren, Passion Catalyst
TM

February 18, 2008

Twelve days - twelve ways to explore yourself

In the December 2007 issue of Ode magazine, there is a short article riffing off the twelve days of Christmas tradition that suggests twelve daily topics of reflection. While the Christmas/Hannukah/Kwanza/Whatever season has come and gone, the idea is still worth exploring.

The article suggests marking each evening with a few minutes of reflection. I'm including the suggestions from the article below, but you can just as easily create your own list of concepts to explore by jotting down concepts and values that feel important to you (you might start by looking at a list like this or this). Line them up in your calendar or put them in a self-exploration jar to pull from each day.

Here are the ideas the article offers:

Day one: Receptivity
What gifts from the universe have you declined to accept or acknowledge?

Day two: Generosity
Think of three people and what you can give of yourself to them.

Day three: Humility
Think about how humility can become a great source of strength and power for you.

Day four: Nobility
Make a list of people from whose noble qualities you can learn.

Day five: Solidity
For 12 minutes, simply feel your soul's solidity.

Day six: Fluidity
Consider the importance of your well-being and happiness.

Day seven: Luminosity
Look back at your darkest moments of the last year, and remember what qualities in yourself and others lit the way for you.

Day eight: Reflectivity
Let an image from the outer world settle in your mind and write down five thoughts you associate with it. Reflect on how you might transform it.

Day nine: Equanimity
Pick a recent event and review it in light of various possible emotions, like happiness, anger and fear.

Day ten: Fecundity
Celebrate the richness of your imagination. Hold this vision and then plan tomorrow's activities. Keep it alive during the day.

Day eleven: Sagacity
Think of yourself as an elder who has learn fomr the trials and triumphs of experience. What are some profound lessons?

Day twelve: Unity
What ideas, yearnings, thems or insights have come together for you through the holidays?

Of course, it doesn't have to stop after twelve days. I like the idea of simply spending a few minutes each evening with an idea. It doesn't need to be a huge, onerous investment of time. Most likely the exploration will be fleeting on some days, while on other days the subject will really capture your attention.

Ultimately, it's about creating a reflective habit, a habitual time to stop and direct your attention inward, if only briefly.

--

 


Curt Rosengren, Passion Catalyst
TM

 

January 10, 2008

How to use flickr for self-exploration

Self-exploration - and more specifically, the understanding and awareness that results from it - is a key component of M.A.P. Making. The more you know about yourself, the better equipped you are to create a life that energizes and inspires you.

Exploring the answers to straightforward questions is a good way to start, but I want to share another, more free-form approach - using images as a starting point for your exploration (I've discovered that flickr is a great source of images for this).

The basic idea

In essence, rather than creating structure with a specific question, an image can provide a springboard for your mind to explore and make associations.

When you look at a picture you can ask, "How does this apply to my situation?" Maybe it is the picture as a whole, or just one element of it.

For example, if you're looking at a rural scene with winding road snaking through the picture, you might ask, "How does that winding road relate to my life today? Am I going back and forth like that in my career? Where is it ultimately leading? Is my back and forth action leading me in that direction, or does it just amount to detour after detour? Why is my road so curvy? Could it be straighter? What would that look like? What steps can I take that would carry my more directly to my destination?" 

As you can see, once you start, the possibilities for exploration are just about endless. What I love about this approach is how it allows your mind to make free associations that you can follow (those were just random questions that popped into my head). It lets your right-brained, free-flowing side into the mix.

In my work with clients, I have a step-by-step system I developed that provides a basic structure and focus. But within that framework it's all about organically following the path where it wants to go. I have found that what needs to come up does come up.

This approach lets you play with that same idea. Rather than rigidly asking specific questions, you let the exploration itself guide you.

Here are a couple different ways to work with it.

Topic specific exploration

Sit down and brainstorm key words or phrases representing elements that are strong in your journey right now. For example, "stuck, happy, goals, curious, fear, togetherness, uncertainty, determination, giving, success."

Then go to flickr and do a search using one of those words. Scan the pictures that come up, and pick one that jumps out at you. Then ask yourself, "How does this relate to my life right now? What does this picture have to tell me about the word I chose as it relates to my journey?"

Look for symbolism. Look for literal insights. Ask yourself, "What could this mean?"

So if I do a seach on "stuck," I might look at this picture and ask, "What are those thorns about?" As I explore, I might realize that there is something I'm doing that is effectively playing the role of the thorns, putting up a defensive barrier between me and whatever it is I need to help me get unstuck. I might then ask another series of questions, like, "Why am I doing that? What is it keeping me from? What is the risk of letting down that barrier?"

Or I might look at this one and realize that there is an area of my life that it feels like I'm drowning, and that's what is keeping me stuck. Maybe I'm over-committed, for example. Then I might ask, "How could I learn to swim?" What do I need to do to get my head above water and feel like I have a better control of the situation?

Random exploration

Another approach to this is simply relying on random chance. I like opening a book, closing my eyes, and poking my finger down on a page. I take the word my finger lands on and do the same thing as I outlined above.

Except this time the field is wide open. The resulting picture exploration isn't focused on one topic. It's can take me any direction, to any element of my life that pops up.

You could use this one of these approaches as a way to explore specific ideas, or as an ongoing journaling prompt.

Here's an idea. Try doing an image-a-day exploration every day for thirty days. Then go back through your journaling and pull out the key pieces of insight you got from the process. You might be surprised what you discover.

 

Check out 101 Ways to Get Wild About Work

Curt Rosengren, Passion Catalyst TM

 

December 20, 2007

Does your future self inspire you?

I talk a lot in this blog about the inspiration I draw from others. I've also talked about looking at your future self thirty years down the road and asking, "What would I look back and be proud of? What would I regret if I didn't do it?"

Now, thanks to Kate Hudson's post about drawing inspiration from your future self, I find myself asking, "How would my future self inspire me?"

If I were to create a future self who would be a source of inspiration to me today, what would that look like? What life would I have lived? How would I have lived it? What decisions would I have made? What impact would I have had on the world around me?

The first step in figuring all that out is taking a look at the people who inspire me and asking, "Why?" What is it about them that are inspiring? And once I put my finger on the reasons, how do they relate to my life?

This merits a deeper exploration, but off the top of my head I see several characteristics that are consistently there in the people that inspire me.

  • They care.
  • They're focused on making a positive impact in the world.
  • They're doggedly persistent.
  • They encounter obstacles, but refuse to let the obstacle define the path.
  • They hear their own tune and dance to it, even when nobody else can hear it.
  • They speak their own truth, unswayed by the opinions of others.
  • They have had the courage to change and grow.

Once I have the list, I can start taking a look at my life through the lens of those inspirational characteristics. How does my current life measure up to them? Where am I strong in self-inspiration? Where am I missing a step? What do I need to do differently in the future? What do I have the opportunity to build on?

What about you? Who inspires you, and why?

[Hat tip to Inspiration Bit for the link to Kate's post.]


Check out The Occupational Adventure Guide

Curt Rosengren, Passion Catalyst TM

 

November 30, 2007

Passion lessons from an amoeba

Over the years I've worked with many people who have felt stuck in a career that doesn't fit them and heard countless ways to describe how that feels. My absolute favorite came from a woman who was extraordinarily creative and intuitive.

She had managed to be very successful in the linear and logical world of the software industry, but had reached a point where being who she wasn't day in and day out was literally making her sick.

"I feel like an amoeba in a paramecium pool," she said one day. What a great visual! There she was, built to move with the unstructured and organic movements of an amoeba, but forcing herself to fit in with the straightforward movements of all the other paramecia.

My definition of passion is, "the energy that comes from bringing more of YOU into what you do." Simply put, it's the energy that comes from being who you are, and doing what you do naturally, in ways you're naturally drawn to.

And that's where people often run into trouble. So many people deny who they really are in attempt to fit into what they think they should be. They make their career decisions on external factors (money, status, what jobs are growing, other people's definition of "success," etc.) and they neglect to factor what they are best suited for into the picture.

It's possible that they'll get lucky and strike gold, but it's more likely that they'll wind up trying to jam themselves into a path that doesn't fit.

Take a look at your career. Does it fit hand in glove with who you are, or is work about getting up every day and heading off for another day of being who you're not? Do you feel like an amoeba in a paramecium pool? Or maybe a paramecium in a pool of amoebas?

The more what you do aligns with who you are, the more energy you get from the work you do, the less energy you have to waste doing something that doesn't fit, and the more energy you have to put towards success.

 


Check out The Occupational Adventure Guide

Curt Rosengren, Passion Catalyst
TM

October 19, 2007

Love it, or loathe it?

When it comes to M.A.P. Making, self-awareness is vital. You can't consciously create a life that lights you up if you don't have a good understanding of what that looks like.

One great way to build that awareness is simply paying attention. In my work helping clients find and build passion-filled careers, one of the things I see again and again is how much insight they get about what makes them tick when they start really paying attention to it on a daily basis.

Mitch Matthews at IowaBiz.com offers up a great exercise from Marcus Buckingham, author of Now Discover Your Strengths, called creating a love/loathe list. As Mitch describes it...

You simply carry a notebook with you and draw a line down the middle of each page.  At the top of the first column, you write "LOVE."  On the top of the second column, you write "LOATHE."

Then, as you go about your daily activities you track each activity by putting it on the appropriate side.  You just keep asking yourself "Do I love this... or loathe it?"  And then write it down. Don't judge it.  Don't even worry about how you'd get rid of it. 

At this point you just write it down.

After a week or so you'll have a pretty good list of the things you love to do and the things you... well... the things you don't love to do.

The next step - the step that makes sure this isn't all just glorified navel-gazing - is to ask yourself, "How do I bring more of the love side into my life? How do I minimize the things on the loathe side?"

 


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Curt Rosengren, Passion Catalyst
TM

 

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